ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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