you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
