I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize