I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
