things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
