its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
