good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
