so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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