My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
