His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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