Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
