So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
