Kiss
Puke
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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