I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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