So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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