Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
