I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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