Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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