Girls should come with a carfax report
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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