i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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