Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
