i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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