they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
