Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
