Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
