sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
