Whod you bang
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
