so explain again why im purple
no
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
