its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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