Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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