I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
barbara walters just said penis...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize