I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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