currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
