I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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