i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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