Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
