True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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