Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
