i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
