i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
