If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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