Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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