Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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