Don't you send me to vm
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
