there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
