So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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