i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your penis caused this!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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