Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
