Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize