We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
