So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Randomize
