id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
