last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
