How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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