good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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