What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just had sex bonerless
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
