u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
