Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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