So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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