Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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