I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
