; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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