We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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