is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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