I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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