i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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