you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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