dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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