I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
